So now we are counting superchats as well as tips to hit the kings coffers goal, while increasing the goal for each stream to $200?
The thing that we said was not possible.
And even when counting kangaroo bucks being the same value of USD we could not hit the new goal.
Things must be very dire.
Phil must be desperate for his boyfriends to come back from vacation and save him.
Dire? He was swimming in cash, relatively speaking, just a few weeks ago. Pig is full and in no need of extra dent support.
Sometimes I wonder which has the stronger pull on Phil: his ego or his greed. I feel as though it varies and one wins out over the other depending on the circumstances, but overall greed seems to win out more. Give him all the money in the world and itâs gone the next day. Itâs just never enough.
That said, I wouldnât call his situation dire either as you and I would likely identify it, heâs just his usual greedy self. He got that taste of KC donations and tips, and he wants/expects that as the baseline minimum going forward. Nevermind that weâre yet again in the usual cycle of tips drying up at the middle-ish / end of the month because SSI payments have dried up for the month from the dents.
Speaking of, Iâve no idea how KC will handle him, if theyâll continue to gas him up for a bit longer and try to stir up shit with Ethan Ralph, but part of me hopes not. Philâs reaction to Ethan was boring. The constant pausing and nitpicking every little detail is typical Phil and just annoying. I just donât see Phil as being âgoodâ at intentionally stirring drama overall (LTG aside, but thatâs more because Dale wisely wants nothing to do with DSP and Piggyâs fragile ego canât handle that and kept lashing out), heâs his most entertaining when heâs being an utter retard and failing at gaming or otherwise begging and flailing around like a shameless e-whore. Or when giving us these gems of admitting to walking on his toes and claiming heâs âaging gracefully.â
Still, as @DerichThe2nd pointed out, he couldnât even hit his new goal of $200 in tips/superchats combined, something he previously âcouldnât do beforeâ the first night he implemented it, and his begging is off the charts. Or at least it feels off the charts. âCome on guys. $5? We can do better than that.â Absolutely shameless as usual.
Hereâs the thing. Is Dave as bad as Cyraxx? No. But thatâs also sorta a negative when your entire financial strategy is shifted to relying entirely on buddy trolls that love watching you indulge your most self destructive habits, and you arenât nearly as much of a ironically entertaining piece of shit. His buddy trolls are slowly leaving. Even begging like a smack head with super chats finally added to the support goal barely got him past the raised goal.
I canât wait for these detractor segments.
TMI, but I had to take a small break from the pigroach to focus on other things in my personal life and after touching grass, it felt good to break away from the autism that is DarkSydePhil.
That said, seeing things with clear eyes, holy shit! It feels like Phil CANNOT stop begging for bullshit he truly doesnât need. A new PC? He already got one. Just when I think his greed knows no bounds, here comes more greed.
That said, and I say this with love, seek professional fucking help! Take a break from it all, my dude. Even just a few days away from the internet can do oneâs mental health wonders. To quote Adam: âThe internet is not a real place.â
Turned out to be lame 
Phil: âI streamed for 5-6 hours, I made $50 the entire stream. I basically made $10 an hour and I almost got sick (heat stroke) and made almost nothing out of it.â
Oh, poor baby! No one suffers like you, Phil. That poor shumuck working in the coal mines doesnât have it worst than you. That guy on the roadwork crew somewhere in Phoenix? What does he know about heat stroke? He doesnât have it worst than you, Phil.
You basically made less than minimum wage from sitting your gouty ass playing poorly at video games, not realizing the minimum wage in Renton, Washington is $20 an hour. Also, why did you put your AC away, if you knew it was going to be warm in your mature adult office? Couldnât afford someone else to come back and put your window unit back to the way it was?
God, Phil is so damn bitchmade.
I donât believe Philâs heat complaints. My house is horrible. It has single pane windows and in MEMPHIS, here in the good olâ south in fucking Augest and it hits 102* with 70% humidity, my house gets up to 80* with none of the doors open. Philâs gay ass office probably hits 75* in his expensive gated community condo. He should EASILY fix it with a fan. Well, I take that back. Heâs too retarded to gate his mic and it would get picked up.
I still canât believe he watched the vtuber making him look like an idiot on his stream.
The AC thing is easily explained actually.
You see the calendar says it is autumn, so you can no longer have the AC onâŠthem is the rules.
Sound good?
Yo real quick shout-out to NoahTheProdigy. Dude apparently had a huge surge in the face just rising to the top. Heâs that Luke player that dunked on Phil, made a lobby for him and then kicked his ass non stop before roasting him live on stream. Congrats dude!
Seriously. Who in the actual hell okayed this? Whoever made this has to be a detractor. Itâs like a creepy sex pest look with an âOâ face. The only way it could be worse is doing the famous May-burst âcameraâs been on the whole time?â closed eyes head leaned back as the logo.
I normally wouldnât harp and we should all expect the lowest tier âqualityâ when it comes to Phil with anything, but a part of me canât get over this. He looks absolutely ghoulish in this with the pastier look on his cheeks compared to the face and are those age lines in the art under his eyes?
Is it just me? Itâs just, God forbid I were in Philâs shoes for even a minute, Iâd throw a shit-fit over designs like these and order them done differently.
Phil had a very busy night on the Kino Stream. Big ups to grazingporo for parsing kick chat logs without an API.
filtered all the log to simply provide phils messages. have raw data if anybody needs it.
âLOL you guys donât miss with your costumes!! Hahaâ,
âjust popping by to say hi, canât stay sadly! Everyone have a good night!â,
âAre you guys making Ashton and Andy watch shitty stuff again?? Oh boy lolâ,
âno i just got on lolâ,
âoh boy hahaâ,
âdude Iâll watch it along with you, I can come back i. Like 15 minutes and watch along lolâ,
ânah I canât call in but I can be in chat until I tap out Iâd itâs really that bad hahaâ,
âI have no idea what this is lolâ,
âthese legit do look like stolen reprinted artâ,
â[emote:1730752:emojiAngel]â,
âLOL sting DOWN FROM THE RAFTERSâ,
â50000 steam gift cards!â,
âokay ill be back in a bit to watch this anal leakage with you guys lolâ,
âOKay back, so what is the filth youâre watching lolâ,
âCog is trying really hard to feud with me now apparently, he accused me of deleting his comments on my vids. I was on my day off today lolâ,
âhes just reviewing a random hotel? Do they get views on any of thisâ,
âLoL I legit donât know what this is but my wife went to sleep and Iâm not tired yet, itâs all goodâ,
âhes taking it really seriously for that 2 bucks heâs makingâ,
âItâs so loud but where is itâ,
âactually maybe thereâs no water, they just play water sounds through speakers hahaâ,
âthis looks like the kind of hotel that is at 10% capacity for 90% of the year but thereâs like ONE big event in that area annually so they do make bank and somehow operate on a profitâ,
âLOL I can make diamonds out of shitâ,
âcanât wait until he shows us the groundbreaking features like WINDOWS! AND A BED!â,
âlol microwave your entire fridge at once all on one go!â,
âIâm disappointed, hes not talking enough about the paint on the walls and the fact that the rooms are FULL of airâ,
âhe could be blowing armpit parts instead of this commentary and it would be more entertaining bc heâd miss one or two every once in a while and thats more interestingâ,
âTHREEEEE SHAMPOOOOOOSâ,
âthey play this for POWs to break themâ,
âmaybe thatâs the actual angle, to be so mundane and adding no actual content through the commentary that your brain has to make shit up to keep you entertained. Itâs like a challenge or somethingâ,
âthat light would make it harder to read a phone lolâ,
âI go on vacation and pay for hotel rooms to read entire anthology book series in bed!â,
âLOLâ,
âwtf why is Lovecraft female all of a suddenâ,
âSEND MORE SUBSâ,
âHow many did you guys make tonight?? You are kings hahaâ,
âyou just so desperately want to see someone push this guy over the railing but it never happens, but itâs where your mind will goâ,
âwell we are talking lovecraftian lolâ,
âdude itâs lame bc Ralph bitched the fuck out manâ,
âyeah this Cog thing is very odd, I have to catch up bc I was off today and hes already accusing me of more shit lolâ,
âAn elevator in a hotel? What is this black magic?!?!â,
âdoes he think he got hired to advertise the hotel??â,
âhes narrating for the blind! OF COURSE!!â,
âthis is the monotonous content that makes you have crazy daydreams about dinosaurs smashing the landscape and shit lolâ,
âSUB TRAIN STARTING!!â,
âPeople want me on kick for some reason lol. Why canât people watch me on youtubeâ,
âYeah my concern is moderation bc you know my detractors are going to do everything they can to ruin stuff, I have my stuff on youtube under control and it took a long time to get there. I canât have my entire chat be messed up stuffâ,
â)„â,
âLOL donât get me started on twitch, we wonât watch any vids tonight lolâ,
âIâm starting to strongly consider kick. I think Iâm going to bring it up with my viewers tomorrowâ,
â995â,
â95% revenue kept is insaneâ,
âand yeah youtube will never push meâ,
âhmmâ,
âmaybe one stream on youtube and one stream on kick dailyâ,
âyeah thereâs nothing wrong with this hotel but itâs just for normies and nothing special. People want hotel tours of big touristy places not normal axeâ,
âNot normal places we can all go to at any timeâ,
âSEE thatâs what your mind gravitated toâ,
âLOL I was right? Of course!!â,
âhey for the viewers here: I canât use streamlabs or elements to do stuff bc Iâm banned from both bc of my trolls, it sucks but yeah I canât do stuff normal people are allowed to do bc of themâ,
âyup i have to do all of my tips manually with PayPal bc I got banned from everyone for literally nothingâ,
âlol okayâ,
âwhy is the font so oddâ,
âTackiest place in history, they could have amazing food but itâs gonna give you a headacheâ,
âLOL I have no idea whatâs going onâ,
âLOLâ,
âis this the first of like many vids??â,
âFive mâ,
âsorry guys I can call in, my wife is asleep but Iâm wired, i drank coffee too late lolâ,
ânah I canât o wisâ,
âI wish I could lolâ,
âthis is insanely detailed describing of everything and itâs all overly positive. Do you think he ever got a sponsorship on anything lolâ,
âitâs pretty mid, not bad at all but itâs not specialâ,
âhow many views in this video btw?â,
âNO PAUSE LOLâ,
âwispy thin pancakes, what does that meanâ,
âmaybe they knew who they were and didnât like them and lmpisâ,
âpizzed iâ,
âShit lolâ,
âmaybe they knew who they were and donât like them and pissed in the pancake batterâ,
âthey are some serious food analyzers of course, I know from their extensive history and accreditationâ,
âI did DSP Tries It for the longest time bc I made bank doing it. When I made like 2-3k views on it I gave it up. Why are they doing this for 900 views?â,
âLOL thatâs niceâ,
âhahahahâ,
âWell Cog already has learned, and now he thinks heâs bigger than me. Imagine the suspense and the ultimate felting at the endâ,
âI look forward to learning about Cog with you guys hahaâ,
âwhy even watch if they wonât be critical during a review lolâ,
âoh boy here we goâ,
âoh come on manâ,
âlol I actually donât believe thatâ,
âwait whatâ,
âLOL whatâ,
âyou do Kinomas too? Hahahaâ,
âhow many views on this vid?â,
âLOLâ,
âi did DSP Tries it for a long time until it wasnât profitable bc the views fell off. Why would I throw out reviews for free if nobody cared??â,
âLOLâ,
âof course Iâm here for the ONEâ,
âIâLL LEAVE YOU BEHIND NEXT TIME!!â,
âas I get older I find myself way more aversed to grease and cheese bc I donât want to die at 50â,
âfive more? Shit hahaâ,
âIâm here for it so farâ,
âIâm just going to say something, I do want to give this man a bit of creditâ,
âyour audience is wrapping on this guy bc of his wife but he puts her in frame and isnât ashamed of her, heâs actually committed. He knows people will likely give him shit but he doesnât care. Iâve seen some vloggers who leave people odd cam etc but he doesnât care. Sheâs no looker but heâs not faking itâ,
âIâm convinced he is narrating for the blind at this pointâ,
âokay I can comment in this one hahaâ,
âi also like the changing of the leaves. I speak to my wife about it. I do not record and upload the conversationsâ,
âyes silent hill 2 is one of the biggest games of the year for me actually, and Iâm playing Dead rising Remasterd starting tomorrowâ,
âwhy are you giving out these big brain ideas for free publicly lolâ,
âwtf is this video, how do I comment on it. ITS A FUCKING ROADâ,
âugh shitâ,
âThe sector disgusts me man, i dunno how you guys stomach it regularlyâ,
âLOL his name is doody, itâs not like he has better things to do, the lowest level is his norm bc his viewers are stuntedâ,
ânah Iâm here for the whole thing guys lol, I said I would beâ,
âdo they ever explain why theyâre in all these hotels?â,
âis their house in a perpetual state of roach fumigation hahaâ,
âLOLâ,
âwe need the support to be spread around! Come onâ,
âitâs like if you only buttered one corner of your bread, we need that butter ALL OVERâ,
âWhy doesnât he film the public bathrooms? Iâm very disappointedâ,
âoh you guys never heard my 360 shit story. I will tell you that someday when appropriate lolâ,
âVoiceovers take effort though hahaâ,
âoh did you guys know what i did to doody twice in a row? I havenât talked about it publicly yet but this is pretty funnyâ,
âSo Doody is trying to be sly and private all of his videos when I react to them on my podcast. So now I say Iâm going to react, but then I just bring up his did and never press play, I just summarize what he said and react to it lol.â,
âthis looks like the last hotel lolâ,
âit even has the same 3 bottlesâ,
âitâs like nearly exactly the sameâ,
âjust moved around a bitâ,
âoh boy, now I need to learn about Styx lolâ,
âbc you canât sit on the bedâ,
âyou need a PLACEâ,
âLOL poor Ashton is broken at this point, Iâm sorry manâ,
âitâs a nice view during that one week a year people care about this hotel lolâ,
ânnarration for the blind or the poor who can never see or afford thisâ,
âhhave they ever been somewhere when people were actually there??â,
âhow the fuck do you even gift subs on here lolâ,
âLOL TO DOODYOSTBRAINCELL HAHAHAHAHAâ,
âWhat the duck are the chancesâ,
âLETS GET SOME SUBS FOR THAT SHITâ,
âFor every 50 subs I will gift ONE SUBâ,
âI will do it, I swear!!â,
âoh are the subs 5 dollars? Mine are only 4 :(â,
âno I mean my subs on youtubr are for 4â,
âI guess I priced low lolâ,
âyup they doâ,
âtwitch is the worst, they take the mostâ,
âguys letâs get the fucking 50 subs and Iâll give another and it will probably go to PercosetRalph or some shit lolâ,
âoh i want paying attention to the vidolâ,
âIâm here for the cabin vid and there had better be the 50 subs by the endâ,
âlolâ,
âONE SUBâ,
âIs that like 41 nowâ,
âwtf this music is stolen from like the Travel channelâ,
âThis reminds me of this show I watched with my wife where they built extreme treehouses for adults lolâ,
âuh yeah why did doodysbraincell get 3 subs tonight hahaâ,
âagain, why are these people always traveling and paying for accommodations lopâ,
âdoes this man ever add anything besides the most banal basic observationsâ,
âHoly shit lolâ,
âif this man got fingersnapped off the planet and just a camera panned through these environments by itself it would be exactly the sameâ,
âhow close are we??â,
âLolâ,
âokay ill gift a sub in 10 moreâ,
âmaybe one day weâll all be as successful as Cog. We can only hopeâ,
âokay i will gift FIVE SUBS if we get 20 more right now! letâs get itâ,
âDROP THE 20 BOMBâ,
âOh so 10 leftâ,
âlolâ,
âif someone drops the 20 bomb, ill drop this bum over the railing into the snowâ,
âoh thereâs no snow lolâ,
âLOL he tested itâ,
âif you had this cabin for a weekend it would be dopeâ,
âmtgsmebox is a longtime detractor fyiâ,
âtoo many people having fun together, let me try to pee in their wheatiesâ,
âare we seriously 10 subs away and we are not going to hit it?? Wowâ,
âyeah where is his wife this time hmmâ,
ârepeat reviews? Hopefully its a new food item or somethingâ,
âI reviewed Ginoâs Subs and that other Philly cheesecake place across the street from them in 2012 and got like 50k views on those vids hahaâ,
âoh did we??â,
âGood hard work gets rewarded in the real worldâ,
âthey always show up at the most off times to avoid peopleâ,
âWhy does every diner have a story dating back to like the 1940s lolâ,
âwhat the fuck is thatâ,
âyou have to be stunted to eat thatâ,
âffantastic!!! LoLâ,
âthere could literally be anything under there and you wouldnât know, thatâs how you sell shit food, just pile a bag of grade D cheese on top of it and watch the dumbasses eat it lolâ,
âdid he literally not mention all that cheese in the post review lolâ,
ânah we need 100 subs if you expect a 10 bomb from me and thatâs not happening lolâ,
âits so not happening hahaâ,
âthats max level griftâ,
âand I donât have rhatâ,
âLAST VID AND CHANCE TO HIT THE GOAL AT 100 MORE SUBS FOR ME TO MATCH WITH 10 MORE!!â,
âlolâ,
âits just the Hilton??â,
âTWO MORE VIDS IF WE HIT IT. NO SCAMSâ,
âLolâ,
âwtf are we actually documenting arrest locations nowâ,
âwhy isnât there a huge memorial where I was busted by campus police in 2000 when they broke up my dorm party and sent me to the Deanâ,
âyes itâs real and itâs hilarious, I have a lot of themâ,
âSadly my college didnât have a water featureâ,
âman I guess these 10 subs i was ready to gift will go ungifted since we didnât get the hundoâŠâ,
âI hope this guy walks into room 1408 one day. Lolâ,
âyyeah just rewashed 1408 recently and liked it a lotâ,
âall of these vids blended together and I hVe no idea where he even is nowâ,
âonly 98 to go!!!â,
âlolâ,
âoh no who is steeltoe lolâ,
âtheres privacy if you lay totally flat on your stomach lolâ,
âhow could you possibly quit now with THE LIGHTHOUSEâ,
âI will gift 1 sub if you gift 20 subs right nowâ,
â20 subs for 1 more and Iâll gift 1 subâ,
âLOL oh noâ,
âoh christ lolâ,
âdoctor who???â,
âwho cars hahahahâ,
âtheres a window in the window and itâs a window!!â,
âAALLNIGHTER ON THE CASINO lolâ,
âthis is like a pre-youtube video before anyone cared about views but oddly recorded everyrhingâ,
âcan I do a gratuitous plug?â,
âwtf is this lolâ,
âokay how many views does this have??â,
âhow killer clowns lost its playerbase: bc itâs the same as 30 other games that all lose their player base in a monthâ,
âfuckâ,
âwhat is going onâ,
âuuuhâ,
âearly youtube vibesâ,
âthis is the most inside of inside jokes possibleâ,
âshit i actually need an electrician and I didnât know that, I just learned somethingâ,
âwell, at least you guys save the best for lastâ,
âLolâ
removed the spoiler
Pathetic, but hilariously deranged. A desperate attempt to claw back any shred of relevance he believes he got from his Kino crossover.
He really wants his boyfriends to come back and save him.
He is desperate for anyone or anything to save him. Why do you think he moved around his own autistic schedule to play SH II?
He thinks it will save his October because its a Spooky game.
Philâs just coming off as desperate. Heâs that weird guy that actually got a friend, but he had no idea how to socialize and doesnât get just how annoying he really is. Or just how cool the person is being that they are slowly pushing further away with their spurgery.
So RTU released the DMâs with Burnell. if this is what Rich is putting up with, one can only imagine how Kinoâs DMâs look like. timestamps are from RTU timezone but i cbf working it out, just seems like phil is up late, or early⊠anyways post 1/2
