Dave’s legit super power is the fact he has the devil’s luck. Dude manages to be in the right place at the right time, but he’s also a fucking retard and manages to drop the bag. Ground floor of Youtube? Tells people to click on the ads and looses it. Blip and possible collab work with That Guy With The Glasses at the height of their popularity? HELLO JEW! Machinima tries to set Dave up for success because he’s a high earner for them? He’s fucking lazy. Twitch royalty? Kept violating their 24 hour exclusivity clause and circumvented Twitch by using paypal, thus loosing his THOT immunity. And his finally stroke of luck, covid. Yeah, whole damn planet shuts down, but he get the Vest Streak, which all that money went to Hogans and the bankruptsy which has done nothing to help his finances because of the Hogans. And now he’s on Yotube slowly being starves of oxygen one lost dent at a time.
Phil’s been circling the drain for some time now. I mean… straight from the guy’s mouth, he’s been declining for a fucking decade.
But the belt has definitely been tightening as of late. We’re at the point now, where one supporter leaving means that Phil is regularly sitting at just a few dollars, if not zero dollars, several hours into the stream. Emergency bathroom breaks are commonplace now, and even when he does get his large support, he’s shaking in his boots over whether or not the tips are legit. Must be an awful way to live! 
Well it’s obvious the dude is completely miserable. Leanna left his sorry ass and not even 4 months later he bought an autistic horse he turned into a maid. She’s there because literally anything is preferable to the underside of a bridge or getting beaten and The Guy looked like absolute shit, even by his not so lofty standards.
Despite all of that, you have people envying him. He lives a miserable existence with his only legacy being a lolcow. Can Phil come back? I believe he can but it will never happen because of his fucking ego.
He will never accept that he’s a clown to be laughed at and will refuse to purposefully play bad games and go back to what he was in those peak TIHYDP because it would mean humiliating himself. And even then, his consumerism would still keep him poor so regardless, he’s fucked
I’d argue that the first time he fumbled the bag was the helicopter company. I mean yeah he started in a shit position but he got that position thanks to his dad. If he wasn’t a completely worthless employee, that nepotism buff could’ve easily led to a 6 figure do-nothing “management” job where his entire workday would consist of shooting 3 emails in 8 hours. Remember he bragged about being a good worker because he did double work (double double work) and he’d often bring a laptop home to finish his jahb. Anyone who works in customer service can tell you that he told on himself because if you need to do consistent overtime to finish your tickets THEN YOU’RE DOING A SHITTY FUCKING JOB.
It aint an opportunity unless if Phil can find some way to squander it. Which actually, did we ever get a confirmation that Channel Awesome actually approached him
Excellent point! Though I’d point out nepetism isn’t an automatic L on your forehead your whole career. My place of business, you’d got the patriarch of the family that owns it, his son is my boss, and now my boss’s son is an intern that’s pretty cool and he’s catching on fast. Yeah, he’s there cause g-pa owns it and daddy is in charge of hiring, but he’s earning his spot. Phil though is indeed a useless turd that fumbled that bag too.
“Can Phil come back?”
Yes, he could turn it all around in a month and be back on top. But it would require introspection he is utterly incapable of. He’d need to not be a humorless dick.
You’re right. Phil was a straight on nepotism hire and his dad ran the customer service department. I mean, talk about getting the keys to the kingdom! All Phil had to do was keep his mouth shut about being the managers son, do his job, get noticed by the CEO, and work his way up to that dream email job he always wanted.
However, Phil’s ego had to get in the way and I know he went about bragging to people about he was the managers son, he got to have dinner with the CEO, meet all these important people, etc…until the layoffs came, and his father got the axe. Phil, well, now the company had a reason to get rid of him, finally! He thought that “Well, they fired my dad, but they’re not going to get rid of me! Why? Because I’m Phil.” Not realizing that if you’re a clear nepotism hire, well, guess what? You’re out the door, also.
I also remember this: he told the story that he asked if he can come back and get his stuff and they told him “No! We’ll mail it to you!” Anyone with a mature adult brain knows immediately “Wow! you were HATED in that office if a company REFUSES to let you come back in to grab your stuff.”
We get the Phil spin on everything, I refuse to believe the stories of his legendary productivity. This fucker took 4 months to change the description, banner, name and profile pic on his reACKACKACKt channel and wouldn’t even edit in the machinima logo into his videos for the retarded amount of money he was making every single day.
That and the first reason he didn’t want to join Machinima in the beginning, remember, this was at a time where they were signing up anyone that made gameplay videos, and put in the demand that his videos get featured once a week on their main page. I’m sure someone at Machinima was laughing their ass off at that demand. Also, the reason he didn’t put in the logo at the beginning or the end? “Because they can do it. I don’t know how to edit.” All he had to do was DRAG and DROP the already pre-made video into anything, hell, even Windows Movie maker! He couldn’t spend 10 seconds doing THAT! For the amount of money he was making, hell, I’d do it, happily!
Also, even his “highly edited” videos on KOgaming, I still believe he told Panda to “edit” his videos. When I think “highly edited”, I think someone like Secret Limited. That dude! He could edit slop and turn it into gold! It sucks he had to retire, because he couldn’t get monetized on his channel and DSP outlived another one.
I’ll respond to the second part first since that will be faster.
For Phil, that was maximum effort. Don’t foget, Phil’s “trying my best” is most people bare ass quarter of a fuck given minimal effort. I’d absolutely believe Phil managed to shit that out. Pandalee isn’t the saddle broken horse Khet is, she actually told him to fuck the fuck off right there on camera. Woman was a ball buster in the best sort of way.
As for Machinima, I think it’s way more petty and childish than that. It’s the exact same reason Phil never did collabs, sponsorships, or wanted to work with Keem on the Lolcow Podcast and even the real reason he TIHYDP truly burned his ass. He, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES the very concept, let alone actualized action of making other money. He would rather have the most disgusting, stale, shrunken down Walmart brand hand pie all to him self rather than a slice of a significantly bigger freshly baked pie who’s slice dwarfs his little hand pie. But the hand pie is his, and his alone.
I agree. My pinky toe works harder than Phil and Phil walking to the mailbox, he considers “exercise”, but me going for a PR on incline, Phil would easily go “Uh, snort I used to be a bodybuilder.” Sure, Dave…and I’m Jeff Bezos.
Also, my favorite piece of lore is when Machinima saw the writing on the wall, they asked Phil: “So, what’s your future plan?” Phil: “Uh, make more content.” That was their way of saying “Dude, we’re done! Start planning for your future.”
Again, Phil considers “hard work” is what we all consider not even a quarter of a fuck given.
That, or when Machinma was still thriving and they tried to get that personification of sloth set up for success by helping him diversify and he chose to do the easiest thing on the planet and just keep shitting out videos on his own channel. I really do think Phil actually had a hand in Machinima’s down fall. Dude at one point could have played his cards right and been the Mr. Beast of early youtube, and would have been able to retire already. But he dropped the bag repeatedly, SOMEHOW, the dude’s got the luck of the devil, managed to find a new bag and dropped it again, and again, and again.
I remember Machinima tried to set him up with other content creators and Phil went “Uh, why?” He failed to set up any kind of professional relationship with anyone that he wasn’t comfortable with, not realizing its not WHAT you know, it’s also WHO you know. Hell, he wouldn’t have had that helicopter job if it wasn’t for his dad, after he built that professional relationship after 20+ years of being there, along with working his way up from a shop tech to Customer Support Director, after getting his degree, and working his ass off to get there.
Phil has been handed every single opportunity to succeed, but he has spit right in it’s face, and when things fall apart, he goes “Well, I did nothing wrong! I did everything correct.” Hell, he spit in Keemstar’s face after turning down $50K, because he wanted everything “in writing”, as he didn’t want to take the phone call. The reason he wanted it “in writing” is not just because he is comfortable with begging, oh he truly is, but he also wants things “in writing” as a way to throw it back into people’s faces. He wants that validation, as a way of throwing things back into people’s faces, because he needs something to hold power over someone. His ego is SO fragile, he got upset at John Rambo during Project 7 because people found his lines funnier, Phil went fucking Phil - which is scorched Earth policy - and said this gem: “I wrote those lines!” Of course, he “apologized” to John, but they soon realized that Phil’s colors came out and how he truly is a piece of shit.
I have a theory, that Phil moved across the country because something happened behind the scenes that Phil took personally. I know his parents sat him down, as they went to his mature adult house, and saw all those statues and it looked like his place could’ve been on a future episode of Hoarders, and they were worried about his spending…but, something else had to happen that Phil said “Well, I’ll show you!” I think he heard about how his friends - John, Howard, etc…and how he also burned Respect The Pack, John was focused on his girlfriend - let’s remember Phil getting upset and breaking out the camera, when John was on the phone with his girlfriend and you could tell John was like “Dude, what the fuck? Can’t you see I’m busy?” Along with Jordan going to become a dad, and the pressure from John and Howard to “throw them a couple of bones”, as Project 7 was eating up all of their free time with editing, filming, writing, etc…Instead of doing the right thing, ya know, paying your friends for their time, he went and bought a BMW…and Phil FAILED to see how people could be upset. Instead of siting down everyone, thanking them for their time and hard work, giving them what they all pulled together to get it off the ground, he gave them the middle finger and said “Yeah, the series lost money…But guys! Check out my new BMW! Also, all these expensive toys I got! Be happy for me!” I think Phil left for the West Coat because he was scared of the retaliation of John, Howard, and Respect the Pack, yet, he wanted to keep up the facade of being “friends” until he finally moved out West. Remember, he text John or Howard, I can’t remember at this moment, that if he didn’t show up, “Our friendship doesn’t mean anything.” Like, what the fuck! What kind of friend says that? And all these promises to do Smart Guys over Skype, etc…like, dude! It just shows Phil’s true colors.
If I remember correctly, only a few people showed up to his going away party, as people had other plans. Respect the Pack got busy with other things, I forgot who didn’t show up with John and Howard, but it was just a few people, along with Leanna’s friends and family, but if I remember correctly, it was mostly Leanna’s friends and family.
Once he got to the West Coast, I know he unfollowed John and Howard on Twitter, but with the distance, he knew that it was too far away for them to do anything physically. Hell, John Rambo lost his job at Gamestop because of Phil! Apparently, his job found out about Phil and John was in a video and they felt that his friendship with Phil wasn’t a “good look” for the company and it was going to be PR nightmare. Also, I remember John mentioned in the “Why we don’t mess with Phil anyone” video, that John would get texts and phone calls at 2AM West Coast time, but it was 5AM on the East Coast, and John was like “Yeah, that was weird that he would call me at so early on his time.” Along with making money when he got the text that Scott passed away, along with not calling them/texting them and saying “OMG, dude! When did this happen? What happened?” Nope! Phil decided to mention a PRIVATE conversation on STREAM for money, along with keeping ALL the Project 7 merch, monetizing them even TO THIS DAY, along with stealing from his fans for the Project 7 reboot, etc…and instead, it was “Well, it was for a Project 7 reboot TRAILER! Trailer! Also, I couldn’t find the time to do the writing, editing, etc…because I have to be streaming man, you guys!”
If Phil was smart, he would’ve stayed where he had a support system of family, friends, etc…and make it work. He has always had that devil’s luck and always seems to have things and good opportunities thrown to him, while most people are barely lucky to get a HINT of good luck.
