šŸ“– DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: Main Thread

Oh, but he ignores the drama and is above it.

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Phil ignoring ā€œdramaā€ is like saying Khat isnā€™t fat.

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Khetā€™s ROBUST.

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F6G2wCMXAAAta2J

Heā€™s such a good father to his son.

He knows why people hate on Derich but he wonā€™t admit to calling Derich a pervert with pedo tendencies, which is a big reason why people shit on him.

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I think it has to do with Phil being a habitual masturbating degenerate, like his adopted, oriental, autistic son, Derich. Monkeyspank never went away, he just hides it.

Dude is perpetually post-nut clarity which explains his aversion to sex or women.

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Yeah, I guess Dave just didnā€™t want to work. You can play the game to get the super credits to purchase the new warbond (in my opinion, the warbond isnt that great, but he does this as a job and needs KHANTENT.) and try out the new guns.

Jesus Christ, Dave. Unalive.

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Jesusā€¦ what a fucking faggot. Anything to avoid playing games, huh? Absolutely pathetic.

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His whole ā€œbusinessā€ plan is just to do the podcast for 8 hours, mixed with SOME gameplay. Heā€™s gonna try to venture out of video games, as he truly hates it, which is why the ā€œpodcastā€ is getting longer, the bathroom breaks are becoming longer, etcā€¦he basically wants to be a e-Thot and get money for existing. Essentially, Phil practices THOT tactics. I wonā€™t be shocked if he decides to drags the inflatable hot tub into the mature adult office, as a way of doing anything that will make him money.

Hell, he is already a reverse stripper and is more than happy to embarrass himself for money. Anything for money, while avoiding his chosen job.

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I do think Phil is going to abandon all dignity, but I think it will one day be him going to show is Champions account. Itā€™s a very long ways off, but thatā€™s Daveā€™s final play. Heā€™s going to eventually hit a point where the Youtube check isnā€™t cutting it any more. Slayerā€™s gone, Dan the Man is gone, KKanadian Kurk finally calls it quits, the old views are totally shriveled and gone, the check is barely making ends meet and he finally has to admit heā€™s the problem. He will go on someones podcast. Rather itā€™s Drama Alert, Kino Cansiono, Side Scrollers, something to finally admit it and show off his account because itā€™s pure drama and click bait views.

Iā€™d imagine that the average E-Thot works harder than Phil. He started off the podcast this morning by bitching about having to play games everyday :cry:. He should really just start showing up to stream in a crop top and push-up bra if itā€™s getting this hard for him.

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I mean, Phil already has the tits as a E-Thot. Hell, should just go full on shaming and go ā€œLook you motherfuckers! The gloves are off! Give me my fucking money!ā€ And knowing how deeply the dents go off of operant conditioning, they will.

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Phil be like

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His end game is either WWE champions streams or political grifter.

DSPolitics isnā€™t happening. I know his midlife crisis is talking on that one, but itā€™s not happening. Heā€™s torn his reputation into shreads, burned every bridge heā€™s ever had, is universally hated and only every spoken of positively when someoneā€™s tongue is riveted to their cheek, and itā€™s all been because of his shitty takes on video games and how horribly he plays them. Dave is denser than the core of the blackhole, but even heā€™s self aware enough to know jumping into something as legitimately polarizing as politics is not a good idea.

So all that is to say, Iā€™ve got my money on showing the account on Keemā€™s show before he utters the phrase ā€œSo hereā€™s my opinion on abortion!ā€

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I think DSPahlitics will be launched in 2025.

Phil fucked up big time, last night.

He was reacting to his old Dark Souls playthrough, and sitting at $27 in tips, when he looks over at his computer screen, and announces that heā€™s received two more tips. The first being a $50 tip from Jeremie, and the second being a $23 tip from anonymous. Jeremieā€™s tip put him at $77, and the anonymous tip put him at $100, exactly.

How did this anonymous tipper know that Phil needed exactly $23 to hit the hat goal, when Jeremieā€™s tip was sitting in Philā€™s email waiting to be shouted out. The anonymous tipper could not have known.

This means that Ryan, or whoever is behind this gay socking, is also tipping Phil anonymously, to pad out the tips goal and keep up the appearance of organic support. And Phil exposed this, last night.

Phil realized that he fucked up, so he tried to salvage it by reading out Jeremieā€™s tip first, adding it to the leaderboard, putting on the glasses, and then acting as if he just got a second tip right then and there, after he already announced that both tips were just sitting in his email.

( 9:03 )


The implications of this are huge.

These tips were obviously meant to be spaced out - Phil was supposed to read out the first tip, wait a while, and then read out the second, so it would seem as if the tips came from two different people. So, thanks to Philā€™s fuck up, not only do we know that the serial socker is also tipping anonymously to help Phil keep up appearances, but itā€™s also implied that Phil sits on multiple tips that came from the same person, that are designed to appear as if theyā€™re from different people, and then he doles them out over the course of a stream.

This opens up so many questions:

  • Did Phil ask this person to spread their tips around under differing identities?
  • Phil didnā€™t even flinch at these tips, and then he tried to pretend as if they werenā€™t both sitting in his email after he exposed himself - was he expecting them?
  • Was this person gassing Phil up by pretending to be different people?
  • How often does Phil sit on multiple tips that are meant to be spread out over the course of a stream?
  • Etc, etcā€¦

Thanks, Phil!

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Itā€™s OIC, itā€™s only ever OIC. No one is going to tip $77, other than Planet Jeff and his ass disappeared finally.

Some people say DSPolitics is a Project 7 Reboot style deal where heā€™ll tease it and take the money to (in Philā€™s words) ā€œmake it happenā€ but then heā€™ll never actually produce the videos. I think itā€™s actually more of a direct capture scenario where it should and it will happen, but Phil being his gouty self takes an inexcusably long amount of time to deliver. By the time he starts doing it people will be already bored and it wonā€™t be a topic of interest. I mean, look at how gaming is going. He CLEARLY DOESNā€™T want to play video games anymore. He just wants QnA streams now. Which is good for me, I hate whenever he touches a game. Dumbass doesnā€™t deserve access to internet or any form of entertainment imo.

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Today he claimed he established himself as THE GUY who gives mature adult reactions to E3/Summer Games Fest. Proceeded to execute clown mode.